This is a sand mandala. Tibetan monks make these beautifully detailed and intricate pieces of art. Sometimes grain by coloured grain. Then they just sweep it all away. Okay, just read up on it a bit and they don’t just sweep it away. They ceremonially dismantle it, wrap it in silk and then return it to nature by dumping it in a river. The point being to show how fleeting and transitory material life is. I thought of these the other day when I was listening to my son. He was playing and singing a little song to himself. He made up little lyrics that created a story and sang it to the tune in his little head. I didn’t even really listen, just enjoyed his small tune as he toodled around telling his tale about whatever it was. I don’t even remember now what the song was about. What I do remember was thinking, “this song is like the sand art”. Turns out I was right. So very, many tiny details have already been lost and I can’t possibly enjoy them all if I spend every moment recording them or jotting them down. I guess I’ll just have to hold on even tighter to the ones I have retained, either on film, on paper or in my memory. Then comes the problem with profound thoughts. They lead to more profound thoughts. As his mother, I am the only person to see, hear, feel some things that no one else will ever have. Even his father has a completely different experience of him and therefore a completely different The Boy experience that even I won’t have. It’s fascinating and mind boggling. That’s the best word for my experience of parenthood from moment one. He is fascinating both in himself and in how I feel about him and react towards him. And then I think of the sand mandala and remember that every moment is fleeting and the profound thought circle bites itself on the tail. Whoa man! That’s deep.
This is how I put the brakes on the profound thought train. Some marshmallowy hot chocolate (not coffee at this time of night. I have to get to sleep at some point), my blog and a good vape. For those in Winnipeg, Manitoba, my juice of choice is currently Nana’s Nut Bread and can be acquired at Epic Haze. One of my favorite local vape shops. If anyone cares I’m using a Triton Mini on an Innokin Disrupter. I absolutely adore my Triton Mini! Top fill, decent capacity, great flavor and IT HAS NEVER LEAKED!!!!! I’ve used it almost exclusively since I got it for Christmas and would highly recommend it to anyone looking for a good, reliable tank.
So, anyhow. I’m enjoying the whole having time to spend with my family and cook stuff and such. Took The Boy, The Nephew and my sister to a Winnipeg Jets public practice today. It was fun. The boys enjoyed it a bit and we scored an official NHL practice puck that slid down the netting.
Got wind of a friend who was desperately craving bread so I whipped her up a loaf and then got a ‘sounds like he’s kidding but probably isn’t’ request for some of the chicken and rice soup I whipped up for dinner in the crockpot this morning from my cousin who is also the bread friends’ spouse so I packed up what was left of that for them too. I got the majority of the ingredients I made them with from their store, Kick her in the Bone (link deleted because bread friend is a lying, cheating, piece of shit), so it’s the least I could do. I never had time for stuff like that before.
So that’s my night. Profound thoughts about the fragility of life’s moments, practise pucks, a good vape and sharing food with awesome people. Oh and too many marshmallows in my hot chocolate. If only all of life’s problems were as delightful as that.