Wow! Life is…huge!

So, yeah.  Last time I posted I was bribing myself to quit smoking buy promising myself a new and very swanky crochet hook.  I bought the hook anyway, and absolutely adore it, but did manage to quit smoking as well.  This weekend it will have been five months (minus a setback or two but always right back on the wagon).

What else has happened since then?  Well, my dad got very sick.  I won’t go into details because that’s his story to tell but needless to say it was very touch and go for a while.  We almost lost him.  I dreaded having to tell The Boy that his Papa was gone.  As far as said Boy goes he is one smart cookie and, from overhearing assorted family update calls and such, figured out that something was going on and that it was very, very bad.  For now, we have dad back.  We have our Papa and we are doing everything we can to make sure we keep him.

Another major life event, I up and quit my job.  Things have been pretty shitty there since I got pregnant.  My co-worker and, at that time, friend freaked out at the thought of being left there while I took maternity leave and let herself be poached by the competition.  I’ve had a target on my back ever since through association.  I came back from my maternity leave to find I wasn’t going back to my original position and that the sweet, enthusiastic young guy they’d hired before I’d left had turned into a butt-kissing, deluded, uncaring money grubbing waste of air.  They tried to pay me $4/hour less than I’d left from and they pretty much abandoned me to scrape and scuttle my way through doing an impossible job with no access to resources or help.  Long story short, new guy had buttkissed his way into trying to oust all of the old employees (I wasn’t the first to walk out) and through missed time due to dad’s illness, doing too good a job at my job and having to spend too much time to maintain it to be able to build it fast enough and lies from butt-kisser that he was sooper magical and can do everything faster and better while still magically being able to do everybody else’s job, last Wednesday happened.  They came to me and told me they were going to drop my pay $2/hour while also demanding twice the work.  That was it.  I was done.  I asked and then begged them to lay me off so I could get retrained in a trade and they refused so I talked to The Hubster and got his support.  I walked in and got to say the dream words of anyone who’s worked a shitty job…”I quit.”  I packed up my stuff and left.  I freaked out for the rest of the day.

How was I going to keep my house and feed my son?  What was I going to do?  A week later I am still not sure but what I do know is that Thursday morning, and every morning since, I have not had a headache when I woke up.  I haven’t vomited around getting ready to go to that place.  I have spent time with my husband and son.  Got to talk to my sister for an hour on the phone a couple times.  So, still not sure what the future holds besides I am happier worrying about money than I was prostituting myself in a job I couldn’t stand.  I’m sincerely hoping that a couple of my former co-workers get the opportunity to experience this feeling too.  It’s loverly.

For the moment, I have homemade bread in my breadbox and am making turkey soup from scratch.  I’m listening to an awesome podcast The Jeff Show With Jason Bryant and I’m working on a gift for my sister’s incoming bump.  I am happy right now and that’s awesome.

Time For Mommy To Grow Up

I am a filthy, disgusting smoker.  I’ve been smoking for a very long time.  It is a smelly, unhealthy, expensive habit.  Time to drop it, it’s bad.

I’ve tried to quit before.  Several times.  It feels like I’m losing an old friend.  The anxiety alone is mindboggling and usually is the main thing that drives me to relapse.  I want to quit, need to really, but have a very hard time giving it up.

So, in the interest of creating my family and me a new, healthier, less poor life, I’m quitting.  And I’m bribing myself to do it.  I am bribing myself with this…

Furls Odyssey

FurlsOdysseyCrochetHook_4_grande

The guy who started the company that makes this wants to make luxury crochet tools available and affordable.  This hook looks like it might achieve that goal.  I’ve looked at their other hooks and oh my GOD are they beautiful!  The hardwood ones are made of some of the most gorgeous woods that I would just love to own and hold and look at let alone get to use them and the colourful Candy Shop line makes me smile just looking at them and their gorgeous colours.  Using these hooks would be a pleasure and a delight (pending trying one out to be sure their design is a good fit for me).  Unfortunately, the handcrafted wood hooks are way too pricey for me.  At the moment.  I will be watching the mail for the next 6-14 days for my Odyssey and once I’ve tried it I just might create myself a reward for non-smoking success.  For every pack I don’t spend $15 a day on, I’ll save it for a while and perhaps pick up a set of the wood hooks.  I am lusting after them so very badly.

I’m finding it incredibly amusing at the moment that the health and finances of my family and myself haven’t been enough for the toddler I turn into whenever I try to quit to bugger off for once and let me succeed but bribing her with pretty, fun crochet hooks might be.